


Five Times Chloe Made a Mess of June’s Life (And One Time They Made a Mess Together)

by SegaBarrett



Category: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Friendship, Sexual Tension, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/pseuds/SegaBarrett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chloe turns June's life upside down on a regular basis. But June's noticing it more than usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Chloe Made a Mess of June’s Life (And One Time They Made a Mess Together)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firstaudrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstaudrina/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I don't own Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23 and I make no money from this.
> 
> A/N: I hope you enjoy this! :)

1)  
“You know, I’ve been thinking.”

Chloe was sitting on the couch, watching an ongoing marathon of Breaking Bad.

“No,” June said as she walked by, oven mitt in hand and involved in a frenzied attempt to bake enough cookies for the party Chloe had decided to throw. “We’re not becoming drug lords.”

“But June. Seriously. No one would ever suspect you. You could walk right into the DEA office and give them, well, cookies. And no one would be the wiser.”

The party that Chloe had informed June about approximately twelve minutes before it was supposed to start.

“But don’t you think I would make an excellent drug lord?”

“I thought you said I was going to be the drug lord,” June pointed out before she had the forethought to stop herself. 

“You would do all the dangerous things,” Chloe explained. “And I would stay back at the apartment and quote Scarface. I’d have a big Scarface mansion – I just wouldn’t do all of that wanting-to-sleep-with-my-sister stuff.”

“You don’t have a sister.”

“I could pretend that I do,” Chloe said, and June figured that she probably could. After all, this was the same woman who had set June up on a date with her father. “Anyway, there’s going to be a lot of highly screwable men at this party, so you need to look your best.”

“Chloe, we’ve been over this,” June said with a sigh. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand. I’m looking to find a guy who I can spend the rest of my life with. Who I can settle down with, have three perfect children and also a career, with whom I can grow old together…”

“I’m going to cut you off right now because I don’t want to picture Old-June sex, sorry.”

June opened her mouth to respond but didn’t have time to before the buzzer rang.

“Come on in!” Chloe exclaimed happily. 

A second later, the room was filled to capacity, and probably past it, with men, and (besides them) only men. June pictured it collapsing and the news reports somehow blaming June for an epic orgy that led to the deaths of three hundred people. 

Although, she had to admit, they were all pretty good-looking.

And, unfortunately for June, most likely gay. That was probably the reason there were only men at this party. Chloe had somehow recruited the entire membership of the closest gay bar. She explained something about putting up cones and saying it had temporarily moved. 

“The rule of averages is that at least a few of them are bi,” Chloe told her with a smile, dancing with a blonde-haired man dressed in blue. “You’ve just got to find out which ones.”

2)   
“We’re going to be internet sensations.”

June was almost afraid to ask. Wait, what was she talking about? Of course she was afraid to ask. This was Chloe speaking, after all.

“Chloe… What do you mean, we’re going to be internet sensations? I thought we talked about that kind of thing after the whole… jam-making webcam incident.”

Chloe chucked and she gave June a knowing look.

“So, here’s my idea. We’re going to do a web series. We’re going to talk about us. Well… we’re going to talk about me. We’re going to…”

June flashed a look at her.

“Is it going to be like My Cat From Hell, except it’s My Roommate From Hell?”

Chloe smiled. 

“Don’t be such a Debbie Downer, June. You aren’t that bad of a roommate. No, we’re going to teach newcomers to the City how to find love. I’ve written up a list of rules. You’re pretty much a walking example of what not to do, so, trust me… you’ll come in handy.”

June shook her head and let out a frustrated sigh, heading to the bathroom and taking out the hair dryer. Another day, another Chloe scheme. Some days it was just downright tiring. But someone had to be the straight man… or the straight woman… or… oh, that didn’t even sound right.

3)  
“So, you and Mark… it’s happening, right?” Chloe inquired over breakfast. She cocked her head to the side and examined a particularly phallic looking piece of bacon; June suspected it had been cooked that way on purpose.

“Yeah, I guess so,” June replied. She didn’t guess so, and she didn’t know so, and relationships had all gotten considerably more complicated since Chloe had come into her life. Before this wacky New York adventure, she had known exactly what she wanted – a routine, a steady life, a man who she would grow old with and have a million grandkids with. It would be predictable, but predictable would be nice.

Life in New York had turned out to be anything but predictable. 

“You sound completely sure, June,” Chloe replied, hands in the air. She picked up a piece of bacon with her hands and bit into it. “You… need to take chances. This many months with me and you’re still acting like a scaredy-cat. When you should be a brave pussy.”

June looked up at her and blinked, having no reaction to that.

“What?” she said eventually, trying to figure out exactly what was leading Chloe to be giving her that particular look. Was it just her mind playing tricks on her, or did Chloe mean something by that remark? Then again, Chloe always did want to get a rise out of people. She shouldn’t take her too seriously… should she?

“What I mean, June, is that you need to figure out what you want and you need to just go out and take it.” She snaked her hand out and let it rest, gently, on June’s thigh. 

June sucked in a breath. Suddenly it was hard to think, hard to see, everything was hazy, as if she was drunk, as if she was back at one of Chloe’s crazy parties downing too many tequila shots all over again.

4)  
The air conditioning broke, and Chloe was walking around without a shirt on. June kept her hands over her eyes, calling out protests, telling her to cover up.

“Why should I?” Chloe replied. “It’s my apartment, isn’t it?”

That was right, June admitted in her head, but Chloe walking around with her breasts in full view was more than a little distracting. June had plans for the night, after all. She was supposed to be doing work. She was supposed to have a full report on her boss’ desk by Monday.

But when she opened up the document on her laptop, the only words that drummed through her head were Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.

Her life was ruined. She was never going to get an assignment done again. She was going to be fired and thrown out on to the street, into humiliation, and she was going to have garbage thrown down upon her head by passersby who would mock her. And for some reason, in her head, they were all mocking her in French. Maybe that just made it that much worse. 

She pressed her head against her laptop screen, which seemed oddly cool in this heat. Why did she have to move in with Chloe? 

5)  
When June had been a kid, she and her friends had decided to have a backyard fair. They’d sent away for a kid and been rather disappointed to find that it only contained a bunch of signs and not much of anything else. But they wanted to put on a backyard fair, so they put up the signs and tried to figure out how to make it better. They’d used a kiddie pool as a “ride”, along with June’s swingset, which they’d used to spin the kids around and around and around if they paid her a quarter.

June’s parents had told her that all of the money ought to go to charity.   
She couldn’t remember if it had or not, or even how much she’d gotten or how many people had showed up aside from her best friend and a boy down the road who had some kind of crush on one of them.

Now, she remembered what it felt like to get spun around and around and around to where it stopped being fun and her stomach started to hurt and her head throbbed… But if she had to do it again she’d get back on the “ride” without a second thought.

What Chloe was describing did sound, at least a little, like a more advanced and decidedly more adult version of a backyard fair. 

When she got to the part about the kinky dunking booth, June had to leave the room. She shut her door and tried to figure out what to do. Maybe she should have just stayed in Indiana. Life would have been simpler then. Simpler, but so much less interesting.

Simpler, but so much less…

*)  
June was trying for some kind of running jump, given how much shorter she was than Chloe. 

It didn’t exactly work, given that she nearly faceplanted on the tile floor, with only a conscientious Chloe grabbing her around the middle and keeping her off the ground.

“June?” the silky voice asked. “Why were you running at me?”

“I…. Ah….” June’s voice failed her. She couldn’t explain all of what she had been thinking, everything that had flooded through her brain – hell, the things she had been Googling the past few hours, trying to work up the nerve to actually do some of them.

To do some of them to her pain-in-the-ass, gorgeous, spectacularly life-ruining roommate.

“Cat got your tongue?” Chloe flicked hers suggestively.

“I… Oh God,” June managed. “I want…” She flung her arms haphazardly around the other girl’s shoulders and pressed their lips together.

They didn’t stop until Chloe pulled back and whispered, “You know, I think we still have some of that jam left…”


End file.
